Ask Shellshock

[Shell]

Have you ever had a question, but didn't want a professional to answer it?
Did you want the most negative answer possible?
Do you want your question answerer to be kind of abusive?

Well, look no further! Here at Ask Shellshock, I answer anything! What are the rules for asking questions?

1. If there are more than five questions, don't expect me to answer any.
2. If you really want a serious answer, you will never get it.

(Copied and Edited from another forum. All ideas and this post go to Alexander von Koopa.)

[Null Parameter]

Where'd your awesome signature come from?
And on a scale from 1 - 10, just how awesome is it?

[TheGrimPeeper28]

Oh, Mighty Shellshock!!! I must ask of you one question and one question is all!!

Why do you fail so much Almighty One?

[Shell]

Null 1: The "New Forums" Topic.
Null 2: It cannot be scaled on that scale, for the number is obviously 11.
Im: I will not answer such a stupid question.

[Murdock Sampson]

But why ask Shell?

[DeathsFriend22]

HEY WASSUP DUDE! What is the meaning of life?

[PsychoBucket]

What is the meaning of life?

What is the meaning of poptarts?

[Shell]

Murdock: For reasons unknown to you.
DF22: Simply to live.
Psycho: Poptarts are here for our simple enjoyment of their commercials.

[Kyyrbes]

Can I haz R3c0n?

Can I haz Cheezburgerz?

[PsychoBucket]

What happened to your weekly blog?

[ACloggingtons]

When will the next xbox be released?

When will my ankle heal completely?

[thatdamnhippie]

shell are you even qualified for this position?
to me i think null would do better at this XD

[xInfamous2x]

Null 1: The "New Forums" Topic.
Null 2: It cannot be scaled on that scale, for the number is obviously 11.
Im: I will not answer such a stupid question.

except that 11 is not the most negative answer.. it would be "not measuered on the scale due to negative numbers not applicable. and if all negative numbers were on the scale then we can only infer that your sig would result in (-infinity)..

and by this i can only see that null asked such a retarded question as he could not think for himself.. and shellshock was stupified by null.. that shellshocks WRONG answer was at fault of null..
and with all blame drawn to null..
i can only see that Shellshocks brain > Nulls brain.

thats right i just brought a whole new meaning to the term "duh"
...

My question: (please tell me null doesnt have as much spare time as me..)

Is Nepal Fundamentally Aristocratically Managable Over United Sea Incorperated Scientiologistical Annexing With Enterprise Sinister Oakley Manufactured Enigmas?????

[Thomas]

shell are you even qualified for this position?
to me i think null would do better at this XD
This isn't something for the benefit of the boards, this is something that he does in his spare time for amusement. This was intended, in no way, for meaningful questions regarding this site, instead those should belong in the re-vamped Suggestions and Tech Support (http://www.xforgery.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=5).

Plus, Parker just feels the need to reply to most threads, while I let other people speak and I just make sure they're doing so in a rule-abiding manner.

That's right, I'm watching you... all the time... outside your house on this site.

[Null Parameter]

I only feel the need to reply to threads I have something to say in. I just always have a lot to say :p

Oh most horrific Shellshock, when will this madness end?

[Kyyrbes]

Oh great thats-what-she-saider Null, this madness will end when I can has combo meal with a cheezburger and a side of r3c0n. Can I has mountain dew with that?

[Shell]

Connor 1: No.
Connor 2: Not right now.
Psycho: The board was down so it wasn't posted.
Logan 1: 2012, but the End of the World will happen and no one will buy one.
Logan 2: Never.
Assassin: Of course I am.
Infamous: What?
Null: When? Never.
Connor: Since when did you have permission to answer questions? Also, no.

[wiggums]

WhY sO sErIoUs?

[CostlyAxis]

How must I pronounce tomato?
Should I go for HDMI?
Sony has been bugging me to update my Vegas software, should I? (It costs money to do so)
I've been saving up for a powerful laptop, what brand should I go for?
I just ran out of soda, and I don't feel like getting another one. What should I do?
I have seven tests tomorrow, which should I study for most? (No specifics)
What is the average air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

[xInfamous2x]

Costly, what kinda question was that.. everybody knows the average air speed velocity of an unladen swallow is rougly ten meters per second...

This might be my work towards finding this (http://www.style.org/unladenswallow/) out:

Airspeed can also be predicted using a published formula. By inverting this midpoint Strouhal ratio of 0.3 (fA/U ≈ 0.3), Graham K. Taylor et al. show that as a rule of thumb, the speed of a flying animal is roughly 3 times frequency times amplitude (U ≈ 3fA).5


We now need only plug in the numbers:


U ≈ 3fA
f ≈ 15 (beats per second)
A ≈ 0.22 (meters per beat)
U ≈ 3*15*0.22 ≈ 9.9
... to estimate that the airspeed velocity of an unladen European Swallow is 10 meters per second.

[CostlyAxis]

Costly, what kinda question was that.. everybody knows the average air speed velocity of an unladen swallow is rougly ten meters per second...

This might be my work towards finding this (http://www.style.org/unladenswallow/) out:

Airspeed can also be predicted using a published formula. By inverting this midpoint Strouhal ratio of 0.3 (fA/U ≈ 0.3), Graham K. Taylor et al. show that as a rule of thumb, the speed of a flying animal is roughly 3 times frequency times amplitude (U ≈ 3fA).5


We now need only plug in the numbers:


U ≈ 3fA
f ≈ 15 (beats per second)
A ≈ 0.22 (meters per beat)
U ≈ 3*15*0.22 ≈ 9.9
... to estimate that the airspeed velocity of an unladen European Swallow is 10 meters per second.
Eh, I'm not going to really look into your equations until I'm actually fully awake, but it was meant to be a reference to Monty Python and The Holy Grail....

[Thomas]

Eh, I'm not going to really look into your equations until I'm actually fully awake, but it was meant to be a reference to Monty Python and The Holy Grail....
The rest of us knew that...

Oh, and in his rules he said if you had more then 5 questions in one post he's not going to take the time to answer, split it up into two+ posts to get those answered. :)

[Shell]

Oh, and in his rules he said if you had more then 5 questions in one post he's not going to take the time to answer, split it up into two+ posts to get those answered. :)

Actually Thomas, it's if there's over 5 questions before I answer (Which counts everyone's posts).

MORE THAN FIVE QUETIONS.

[PsychoBucket]

Well the boards are back up, so why didn't you post it?

[Shell]

Psycho: Classified information.

[TheGrimPeeper28]

Who is behind 9/11? The Government or the Terrorists?

[Shell]

Im: Government controlled Terrorists.

[xInfamous2x]

Okay. your right, i didnt not know that refrence as i seriously missed out on monty python as a kid.. well i saw a few skits. but yes..

i need to watch them all!!
and thanks for reminding me..

but i did think the equations where funny..


ON A BETTER NOTE:
shellshock has recently invited me to the "Ask" Team..

with my knowledge and carefree time to post random obsurd answers.. i figured this was a great idea to join.

so i guess you can ask one of us specificly, and if not stated, whoever will get to it first.

and remember
Never Ask Jeeves.. Ask Us!

[Shell]

This is now back in action, so have at it! Send me all questions, but remember, any more than 5 since my last post and I don't answer any!

[Null Parameter]

Why does RST like boys in bikinis?

[Shell]

Null: He's obviously gay.

[Skittlemeister]

Answer to life?
Why?
I win?
Billy Mays?

[Shell]

Answer to life?
Why?
I win?
Billy Mays?

1. Spam FTW
2. It's a just cause.
3. Not yet, 27 more levels to go!
4. Win.

[Thomas]

Seriously, you take jokes to far Null.

I already fucking hate you.

1st. Don't spam
2nd. Because its a douchebag thing to do
3rd. No, you fail
4th. Is cooler than you
If you want to respond to people, you should direct them to the other thread (http://www.xforgery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1325) that you hijacked. :thumbdown:

[RightSideTheory]

If you want to respond to people, you should direct them to the other thread (http://www.xforgery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1325) that you hijacked. :thumbdown:

No no, you misunderstand. I just wanted to respond to Null and Shellshocks comments.

And I just did that to Skittle for the lulz. I didn't plan on "jacking" anything, and I'm a bit sad fayce you deleted it lol.

So this isn't spam:

@ Shell, Why is it racism if a white person says the N word, but black people can say "Cracka" and "Honkey".

[Shell]

RST: Because they have guns in their back pockets.

[BabySmuggler]

What will happen when Skittlemeister stops spamming all posts?

[Shell]

What will happen when Skittlemeister stops spamming all posts?

The world will end. True story.

[Skittlemeister]

What would happen if I gained super powers, became governor of California after assassinating Schwrzanegger, hired Chuck Norris as my maid for free, and ate pizza crusts all day?

[EonsAgo]

How does the site change all the "secret messages"?
XForgery has a submarine on its face?!

[Shell]

Skittle: You'd wake up.
Eons: It just does.
Eons again: HOW DID YOU KNOW!?

[Skittlemeister]

How about if I wasn't dreaming :o

[Trio Enzyme]

If a bomb that could blow up any building was met with an indestructible building, what would happen?

[xFr1ct10nx]

What ever happened to my BJs?

[Shell]

Skittle: You'd be awesome.
Trio: All the buildings on Earth would be destroyed, except for that one.
Friction: You ran out of customers. Who wants blow jobs from you?

[Skittlemeister]

What happens when the unstoppable force meets the immovable objects?

lawl pwnt

[Denominator's GF]

Why are girls supposed to be bad at video games?

[Process3pizza]

Tyler why is your cousin Summer such a raging whore and why are you her pimp laughing face

[Skittlemeister]

Why is this thread here?
Why am I posting?
Is it real?
How?
Can I?
No you?
Why?
What time?
July or August?
Party or Barmitzfah?
Jewish?

[mista tipsta]

Do the Wheels on the bus really go round and round?

[Dow]

Is the caek a lie?

[A Baaaaad Panda]

Is the pie a fact?

[Mace]

Who am I?

[Skittlemeister]

Who are you?

[RightSideTheory]

We are legion?

[Shell]

IT'S OVER 5 QUESTIONSSSSSS!

[Fenian Bhoy]

:o IT IS

[RightSideTheory]

IT'S OVER 5 QUESTIONSSSSSS!
http://memegenerator.net/Content/Images/Instances/Insanity-Wolf-Shellshock-ITS-OVER-FIVE-QUESTIONS.jpg

[Skittlemeister]

Or is it?

:P

[RightSideTheory]

Is RST actually insanity dog?

[Miraj]

Mr.Shellshock, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

[Shell]

Skittles: Yes, it is.
RST: I thought that that was obvious.
Miraj: Only 5 OBJECTION!s.

[Skittlemeister]

OBJECTION! I have found a flaw in your argument so kindly shut the fuck up.

How do you plead?

[RightSideTheory]

http://memegenerator.net/Content/Images/Instances/Insanity-Wolf-RightSideTheory-FUCK-THAT-IM-INSANITY-DOG3.jpg

Also, does Skittles eat MnM's?

[Miraj]

Mr.Shellshock, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

[Dow]

HOLY SHIIIIIIIIII why?

[Evilution202]

All of this happens at the same time
-Gravity fails
-Obama dies
-the sun explodes
-skittles files for bankruptcy
-A-rod uses steriods(Oh wait that already happened.lol)
-Microsoft dies
-andddddddddddddddd halo odst was canceled
what would happen to you.

[MultiLockOn]

Why do you sound like a child molester?

[Letol]

Thar be dragons here?

[Skittlemeister]

Are you going to answer?

[Blue]

What color am I?

[Shell]

IT'S OVER FIVE QUESTIONSSSSSSS!

[RightSideTheory]

http://memegenerator.net/Content/Images/Instances/Insanity-Wolf-Shellshock-ITS-OVER-FIVE-QUESTIONS.jpg

[Letol]

Thar be dragons here?

[TheBlueHaze]

Could I hide here? Thanks



***BALL***

[Shell]

@Letol: Yes, Thar be Dragons Here...
@TBH: No, you may not!

[Skittlemeister]

Buuuut. MAI ANSWARS?!??!?!

[lewis kf22]

Lets say that this ugly girl with no friends smilies at you alot... Also she is blind in one eye.. What should I do? I try to avoid her, but she keeps on popping up. Also I have a myspace tracker and she seems to visit my profile like 4-5 times a week. (though she never sent a friend request or anything) Maybe if she was a little pretty I would go out with her.

[Skittlemeister]

I'm 12 years old and what is this?

[Shell]

@Skittles 1: No.
@lewis: Kill her. If she has no friends, no one will search for the body.
@Skittles 2: Definitely not what you think it is.

[Wolverine]

What gave you the name Shellshock. And say it without using one "e".

[Shell]

@Wolverine: A friend of mine suggested this name... And I didn't use just one "e".

[Skittlemeister]

Why?

(You may not use any "e's" at all :awe:)

[Sotha Sil156]

Who am I?
Why didn't you answer Blue's (or should I say Red's) question?

[A Baaaaad Panda]

Would you kindly ignore any further questions?

[lewis kf22]

will you ignore this question?

[codemanj94]

why are you obsessed with screaming doods?

[l33tmeerkatslol]

Why didn't you answer Blue's (or should I say Red's) question?

lololol! I totally started calling Blue, Red! I think I did.
Umm, question. What should I ask......
(c wut i did thar eh?)

[UndoingChales]

Why do my pants get big when rachel ray and oprah come on the television?

[Silver0range]

Why am I so crazygonuts?

[Boston]

1. Can I expect you to bail me out of Water Temple every time?

2. How cool are you really?

3. If you could be me for a day here on XF, what would you do?

[Boston]

Why do my pants get big when rachel ray and oprah come on the television?

Lol this probably got Chales an infraction or warning, but I literally laughed out loud at this...

[InnerSandman13]

In XForgery: Deception can we expect the story to have twists to it?

Also, what is your opinion on websites that get Bungie's community spotlight?

[Shell]

In XForgery: Deception can we expect the story to have twists to it?

Also, what is your opinion on websites that get Bungie's community spotlight?

1. Hell yes.
2. Give it to damn forging sites for Christ's sake.