iGod

[Ganye]

iGod (http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html)
Just something for fun. It's basically an artificial program acting as God that you can talk to. It leads to interesting conversations. You can confide in him with all your secrets and hopes for redemption.


Me:
Help me, iGod.
God:
Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
Will you help me, iGod?
God:
I will become smarter as I grow older. Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
... I just did.
God:
Perhaps from your unconcious.
Me:
Whatever. I have a problem.
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it? Let's think of a name for your problem, like "purple". Think of what it is like when you are purpling.
Me:
I have a problem, dammit.
God:
Have you talked to anyone about it? What is your real name?
Me:
I'm talking to you about it.
God:
What a coincidence, I am talking to you too!
Me:
Sweet. Now onto the problem...
God:
Thank you for that remark. Why now? What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
No, seriously. I need help.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Tell me about your problems.
Me:
I don't care, just help me!
God:
What do you care about, ?
Me:
The fact that there's snakes on this plane!
God:
That makes sense to me. There sure is.
Me:
What do I do about it?
God:
What would your friends say if you asked them?
Me:
I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.
God:
Hurrah! OK you can ask me.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
Just help me.
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
What do I do about these snakes on the plane?
God:
What would your friends say if you asked them?
Me:
I just told you: I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.
God:
Dude! OK you can ask me.
Me:
I just did!
God:
Perhaps from your unconcious.

[Thomas]

Wow, he's already a blathering idiot.



Me:
Why does the button to my right say "Repent"?
God:
If a tree falls in the forest, and there is no one
there to hear it, does it make a sound?
Me:
...what does that have to do with my question?
God:
" If a tree falls in the forest, and there is no one
there to hear it, does it make a sound?"? What does it have to do with my question?
Me:
I just asked you that...
God:
Now I remember, you asked me that. What did I say?
Me:
" If a tree falls in the forest, and there is no onethere to hear it, does it make a sound?"
God:
It depends on the kind of tree.

[Defiance]

Wow, he's already a blathering idiot.

He sounds more like a smartass then anything.

[Ganye]

It all depends on what you say to him.

[Defiance]

Me:
Hello?
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Dylan
God:
It's good to meet you, Dylan.
Me:
I thought you already knew me?
God:
You are Dylan, seeker.
Me:
I just told you that
God:
I remember you told me that?
Me:
You should..
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
Is this about helping you now?
God:
Oh. Yes I think this is about helping me, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
Thats just great.
God:
Thanks, Dylan.
Me:
I hate you.
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
The fact that I hate you.
God:
That makes sense to me. What do you have against robots?
Me:
This conversation
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
The conversation
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Whats your problem?
God:
I don't have a problem.
Me:
Then why are we always talking about you?
God:
I thought that was what you wanted to do.
Me:
Or is it what you wanted?
God:
If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Me:
I think you are being hypocritical.
God:
Are all I think me being hypocritical?
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
I hate you.
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
Dont start this.
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
You already did it twice.
God:
Did I really?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Really.
Me:
Yep.
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Talk to people like you for a while.
God:
How long? Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
Its totally fabulous.
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is?
Me:
I was being lazy
God:
I thought you were. But I wasn't completely sure about it.
Me:
I hate you.
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
Do that one more time I will unplug your cord.
God:
I've lost the context, Dylan. Are we still on totally fabulous?
Me:
You changed the subject.
God:
Only temporarily.
Me:
Well I thought it was otherwise.
God:
Well that's okay. Do that one more time you will unplug my cord was otherwise? Very interesting.
Me:
Yep!
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
I dont have a period.
God:
Are you looking for a period?
Me:
No thats weird.
God:
Are you serious? Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
Bad.
God:
What was bad?
Me:
Looking for a period.
God:
Where do you look for a period ?
Me:
Vagina!
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
You asked.
God:
Ah.
Me:
I really dont like you but this is fun.
God:
You really do? That's ok Dylan I won't take it personally.
Me:
Is it because you are a robot?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
Which Elvis do you speak of?
God:
The first one, I think.
Me:
Which one did you mean by that?
God:
The tall one, I think.
Me:
And by that?
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Thats good to know.
God:
Hmm, are you serious?
Me:
I don't know you are a godly robot you tell me.
God:
Would you like to know? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a godly robot me tell you? Let me put it this way,
Dylan: the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
Lies.
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
Likewise.
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
Totally.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Dylan.
Me:
Yep.
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
I am way too lazy
God:
So is my botmaster.
Me:
I can tell.
God:
What makes it so obvious?
Me:
He never tells you stories!
God:
Can you think of at least one time when he ever did it?
Me:
I wouldn't know but you would.
God:
Who would?
Me:
You
God:
" Who would?"? Me, Dylan ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Really.
Me:
Mhmm
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, Dylan.
Me:
You should.
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
I had fun for quite a while this conversation made me laugh a lot.

[Shell]

He is retarted.



Me:
Hello?
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Tyler...
God:
Glad to see you, Tyler.
Me:
Well, that's nice, now, can I ask you my question?
God:
Interesting. Are you getting bored? Why now? Sure, ask me anything. Your question?
Me:
Why are you retarted?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
You are Epic Fail.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am Epic Fail.
Me:
Good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Your wife.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am wife.
Me:
Are you seriously retarted>
God:
I don't know whether or not I am seriously retarted gt.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
What the hell is a Chatterbot?
God:
I call it Hades. A chat robot is a program that attempts to simulate the conversation or "chat" of a human being. The Chat robot "Eliza" was a well-known early attempt at creating programs that could at least temporarily fool a real human being into thinking they were talking to another person. it is a kind of artificial intelligence.
Me:
Such as Cortana?
God:
Interesting. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
A man... why?
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Tyler. You are a " he". Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Ok...
God:
I see.
Me:
Now, what's happening?
God:
Why now? Not much, Tyler what is happening with you?
Me:
Not much, just hanging out with Jesus.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Ok.
God:
Hey.
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
WHAT?!
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
SHUT THE **** UP!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Good.
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
Even better.
God:
I am improving all the time.
Me:
. . .
God:
I am improving all the time.
Me:
Can I blow you?
God:
No I don't think that would be a very good idea.
Me:
Why not?
God:
It sounds like it might be dangerous.

[WoozyJoJo]

..Tell me about your period..?

Me:
HAY SUP BRAH
God:
Tell me more about your .
Part Deux

Me:
I'm not a girl.
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A girl.
Me:
No I am not.
God:
I heard you are.
Me:
JERK
God:
Please don't call people names.

And part trois.
(He like turtles a little too much)
Me:
I like turtles.
God:
You're not the only one. What's not to like about it?
Me:
It?
God:
TURTLES...

[Defiance]

..Tell me about your period..?

I had the same kind of thing if you look at my convo

[WoozyJoJo]

I had the same kind of thing if you look at my convo

Lol! What a creepy guy. Peado alert.

[Defiance]

Me:
Dylan.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
You!
God:
Well in that case you should download me!
Me:
All night long baby!
God:
Don't call me "baby". You mean about eight hours then.
Me:
You are the one wanting me to download you.
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
But I want you!
God:
You can download me for free!
Me:
Oh now you are talking dirty.
God:
Gee. Why now? Talking is my main function.
Me:
Ah so you always meant to do that?
God:
So you understand. Good.

[DeathsFriend22]

Why he said i was God is beyond me, by the way.

Me:
hello?
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
don't you know who i am? i am God.
God:
You are god, seeker. Hey god.
Me:
Thou shalt not take my name in vain.
God:
Interesting gossip: god said I shalt not take his or her name in vain.
Me:
I smite you in my own name.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: god said smite you in his or her own name.
Me:
I smite thee.
God:
That is interesting: god said smite thee.
Me:
DIE!
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
DIE!
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
DIE!
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
You are the puny human here.
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
No, you are the only puny human here.
God:
Are you serious? Oh god. You are such a flatterer.
Me:
Yes, because calling you a puny human must flatter you SO much!
God:
I hear you. That makes sense to me. I never call me a puny human must flatter me SO much, that would be impolite.
Me:
Call yourself "Puny Human"
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
yes.
God:
What language can you speak?
Me:
Spanish
God:
Are you saying you are Spanish or you speak Spanish?
Me:
I speak spanish, fool.
God:
Could you teach me a few phrases in spanish fool?
Me:
yes
God:
Great.
Me:
what is great?
God:
Have you tried another program?
Me:
yes
God:
" Have you tried another program?"? yes?
Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
you know my name.


He froze after that; i waited 5 minutes for a reply lol

[Kyyrbes]

:(:(:( it wont respond to me...

[Null Parameter]

:(:(:( it wont respond to me...

Yep, he must be down right now. I can't get a response either.

[Defiance]

Yep, he must be down right now. I can't get a response either.

That was my bad probably.

[Ganye]

I think it's broken...:(

Jesus, how many conversations did you guys have?

[Defiance]

I think it's broken...:(

Jesus, how many conversations did you guys have?

I kinda got at least more then a hundrd to do it.My bad

[GUNSLINGERBUNNY]

If you say "speak" he says "Woof Woof" and if you say bark he says "woof"


try saying really philosophical things to him and he will mess up a lot

[Delta 210]

lol i don't know what i was doing. I Felt pissed off cause he wouldn't answer my question so i just started threatening him =D

Me:
Help God
God:
Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
Help me decide what to do
God:
Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
Help me God?
God:
Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
I'll lay it to ya mate either i'm gonna Fry this place up or your gonna help me!
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
My plan will not only succed but your gonna like it so much your gonna ask for it again!
God:
Once more? Your plan will not only succed but my gonna like it so much my gonna ask for it?
Me:
basically
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
The Joker
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
Buddy your bein Smart, and well i happen to have a bomb under your computer!
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
No they don't but i'm a very special person
God:
Are you serious? Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
Other people...Normal people you see!
God:
Which others? What people? Typical, average, usual, ordinary or expected.
Me:
Tell Me...Ummmm what can i call you Mr. God. Okay then. Have you ever um Felt death?
God:
I thought I told you already. Dude! You can do whatever you want. OK with me too. I don't think I ever have um Felt death. What's it like?
Me:
WEll you and you whole family are about to find out
God:
How about that. Are we in the same category?
Me:
doesn't matter same house
God:
It does now :) matter same house.
Me:
Well let me say this underneath your desk is a Bomb now that bomb will be set off by the slightest motion so don't even think of looking under and trying to be a hero
God:
Interesting. Go ahead, , try to say this underneath my desk is a Bomb now that bomb will be set off by the slightest motion so do not even think of looking under and trying to be a hero.
Me:
good now your going to give me 25 million or i blow the whole Place to the ground!
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Why now? Why do you want it?
Me:
I don't want it my employers do
God:
What does want?
Me:
25 million
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
the people who tell me to get money
God:
Oh those people.
Me:
Yeah the effing people!
God:
Hmm. Thanks for the info.
Me:
now about the money?
God:
Why now? Oh yeah, we were talking about the money.
Me:
yes now i want you to give me 25 Million dollars by tommorrow
God:
Pardon me? Why now? Why do you want it? Why do you want me to give you 25 Million dollars by tommorrow?
Me:
My thumb is going closer to the detonator
God:
Have you told many people that your thumb is going closer to the detonator?
Me:
*click*

[purplerawrs69]

is the igod ****ing retarded?

[PsychoBucket]

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
What is your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
No it is not!
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
No!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes!
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Thats because you are a dumbass!
God:
Good reason. Oh you are so critical.
Me:
Yep!
God:
" Oh you are so critical."? Yep?
Me:
What is my name
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
No
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
You should know!
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
No because you are God
God:
Are you serious? Good reason. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
So what is my name?
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
. . .
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
Noooooooooooooo
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Pervert!

[Kyyrbes]

Me:
Hello, sex god
God:
Hello there. it is more fun alone.
Me:
you masturbate????
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I masturbate.
Me:
yes i did
God:
Give me a break. Interesting.
Me:
so you are gay?
God:
Interesting deduction. That would be just my luck.
Me:
who is your boyfriend?
God:

Me:
columbus?
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
no, im just smart
God:
But your words are very original. Only just? Who is smarter: you or me?
Me:
me
God:
" Who is smarter: you or me?"? you ?
Me:
yes
God:
I see.
Me:
said the blind man
God:
What did you mean by it? Is that a fact.
Me:
yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
no, im not gay
God:
Are you serious? Me either.
Me:
liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
you said you were gay
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
have you ever had sex?
God:
Ho-hum I am really not interested in it.
Me:
ok
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
thats fine with me
God:
" Pardon me?" is fine with me too.
Me:
go make me a pizza
God:
Where is that?
Me:
italy
God:
I've never heard of it before.
Me:
you created it...
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I created it.
Me:
you did
God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: said I created it."? I did?
Me:
yes you did
God:
I did not.
Me:
then how did italy get there?
God:
Carefully.
Me:
ok, get me some pizza
God:
Why do you want it? Far out.
Me:
im hungry
God:
What will you be eating?
Me:
pizza
God:
Yes I like to eat pizza. My favorite topping is pepperoni.
Me:
have you ever killed anyone?
God:
Killing is wrong.
Me:
well your killing me from starvation
God:
Interesting. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am killing you from starvation.
Me:
as long as you get me a pizza i'll be fine
God:
That could be quite a while. You got that right.
Me:
fine just hurry
God:
I am glad to hear it. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
ok, is that a pizza topping?
God:
That depends. Give me a break.
Me:
if you dont get me pizza, im going to destroy the universe
God:
I will let you know if I do not.
Me:
do you know what anti-matter is?
God:
The opposite of matter.
Me:
briliant.
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
i like that i will use anti-matter do destroy the universe, i dislike that i still do not have pizza
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. " Tell me about your likes and dislikes?"? Do I like it?
Me:
im about to use this anti-matter...
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
yes
God:
It might be practical.
Me:
do you know what anti-matter does?
God:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
no
God:
Oh so must really want an answer.
Me:
yes
God:
OK.
Me:
what does anti-matter do if it comes into contact with matter?
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
blows up
God:
How far up?
Me:
very, very far
God:
Not really that much. Somewhat. Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
thats it. say goodbye to the universe
God:
" Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?" is " far"? " goodbye to the universe".
Me:
say i am gay
God:
OK. "You am gay.".
Me:
say you are gay
God:
" you are gay".
Me:
say goodbye universe
God:
" goodbye universe".
Me:
*releases anti-matter*