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DeathsFriend22
03-19-2009, 07:55 PM
Dragonball Evolution airs in the United States on April 8th, 2009. I have already seen it, as it aired earlier this month in other countries, and is streamed via megavideo.

I have 4 words for you:

It Sucked Major Dragonballz (c wut I did thar?)

the movie didn't even follow the plot off the original Evil King Piccolo saga, the character coloration was off, and the actors, quite frankly, couldn't act worth dick. It was, in short, a piece of shit. Worse, in fact. Even though I can get free tickets from a friend who works at Regal, I'm glad I didn't go to see this on the big screen.

SPOILER ALERT
as if anyone wants to watch this piece of crap anyway..

Main flaws:

Goku didn't look like Goku at all. They completely did away with the trademark "explosive" hairstyle people become familiar with after watching the anime. Goku just looked like a douche with a huge budget for hair gel.

Chichi and Bulma were basically whores. First Chichi was hanging out with some black bully guy, until Goku kicked the crap out of him (the only good part of the movie, by the way), and then she was all like "omg goku ur so hawt! BTW Im a whore."

The effects were shitty. It looked more like it was done by a couple of freshmen college students doing a project for their Movie Editing class or whatever you learn that stuff in.

Halfway through the fight between Goku and Piccolo, Goku has a "believe in yourself" moment - or 5. The most anticlimactic shit of all time, especially when there isn't much of a climax to begin with.

Worst of all was during the hunt for the Dragonballs. The dragonball was fucking underground, across a river of lava. This was literally like 20 feet underground, by the way. Piccolo Juniors all attack, and when Goku defeats them, he has the wonderful idea of using them as a bridge. A fucking bridge. It's not like dead bodies incinerate in lava or anything, right?

Honestly, this movie was worse than the original Power Rangers movie, which was made back in the 1990s. That's seriously what this movie reminded me of. The fucking Power Rangers movie.

To summarize:

Special effects: shit
Storyline: shit
Characters: shit
Overall: shit.

Basically, don't bother going to see it. It's not worth your time or money. I should be payed for having sat through that.

And that's all I have to say about that.

CostlyAxis
03-19-2009, 08:02 PM
When I saw what Goku looked like from a preview, my hopes were immediately shattered. Master Roshi (sp?) added injury to insult, and what happened to the Capsule devices? Were they in the movie since Goku could have used one in that lava situation...

DeathsFriend22
03-19-2009, 08:07 PM
When I saw what Goku looked like from a preview, my hopes were immediately shattered. Master Roshi (sp?) added injury to insult, and what happened to the Capsule devices? Were they in the movie since Goku could have used one in that lava situation...

It wasn't so much a capsule as a briefcase that turned into a hoverbike with the cliche Transformers transformation sound.

Master Roshi went from an old bald hermit with a turtle shell on his back to a middle aged man wearing a hawaiian shirt living in a big city.

And Goku just looked gay.

Also, when the fuck did Goku ever go to High School in the anime? Wtf?

xFr1ct10nx
03-19-2009, 09:57 PM
Best fucking review ever! Even though i have a strong passion, that review was pure epic win, lol.

You know as much as i believe that, i'm still most likely going to see the movie, the original power rangers movie? or the Turbo movie? the Turbo movie was worse.

Mighty Midgit
03-19-2009, 11:19 PM
Hey, don't bash the original power rangers movie. That movie rocked!!

as for the dbz movie, i agree.

DeathsFriend22
03-20-2009, 01:38 PM
well, I mean if you're judging the original Power Rangers movie by today's standards, it's terrible. But if you're judging by how good stuff was when it was released, then my best comparison is going to be PR Turbo. Yeah, it was that bad.

I'm hoping for a "hulk"-Style redo. You know, how the first one sucked hard but then the more recent redo kicked ass? Just like that. That would be great.

Mighty Midgit
03-21-2009, 11:40 AM
i second that.