Zak
03-05-2009, 06:25 PM
Well, I was in my AP Euro class the other day and my history teacher taught us of WWI really started. Most people know that it as Arch Duke Ferdinand who was assassinated and thus started the war, but little know about the entire assassination story.
Arch Duke Ferdinand and his wife Sophie were on a visit to Serbia. That day, they were to drive along a parade route in the crowded and small streets to get to the city hall where the Arch Duke would be greeted by the mayor.
Little did he or anyone else know, there had been five assassins set up along the parade route to kill the Arch Duke. If one assassin failed, the others would be in charge of killing the Arch Duke.
The first assassin, upon the Arch Dukes arrival, chickened out and left his post.
The second assassin, standing about three people back in the crowds along the parade route, pulled out his revolver, aimed at the Duke, pulled the trigger. His gun jammed. And ahead of him was a casual clothed police man who proceeded to bring him down and bring him in for questioning.
The third assassin was a noob. Being his first assassination, he weapon of choice was a bomb. He lit the fuse, and threw it out the window. Over- excited, he over threw the car and landed it in the crowds ahead. The bomb exploded, killing a few civilians and the Arch Duke ran away in his car. With all of the commotion, there were rumors that the Arch Duke had been assassinated and lives had been lost.
Satisfied, the fourth assassin left his post feeling as though he had done a job well done.
The fifth assassin decided to celebrate and he headed down the bar to inebriate himself and sing Serbian national anthems all night.
The Third assassin, now obviously discovered from his bomb throw, proceeded to run towards the river in escape from the police. On his shirt was a button made of Cyanide which he proceeded to pop off and swallow. He then did a swan dive into the river. Little did he know that the season had been dry in Serbia that year and the river was only about four inches deep, and his cyanide button pill was far past the expiration date. When the police arrived, they arrested a man in four inches of water, on all fours, puking his guts out from the expired cyanide.
Several hours past and thinking they had avoided danger, The Arch Duke and his Wife Sophie continued on their parade route.
Still in the bar celebrating the death of Arch Duke Ferdinand, now extremely drunk, the fifth assassin stumbled out of the bar only to see a car driving by with the Arch Duke and Sophie. Astounded, he proceeded to pull outhis pistol and shoot them both in the head, killing them.
And that's how World War I really started. No joke.
Arch Duke Ferdinand and his wife Sophie were on a visit to Serbia. That day, they were to drive along a parade route in the crowded and small streets to get to the city hall where the Arch Duke would be greeted by the mayor.
Little did he or anyone else know, there had been five assassins set up along the parade route to kill the Arch Duke. If one assassin failed, the others would be in charge of killing the Arch Duke.
The first assassin, upon the Arch Dukes arrival, chickened out and left his post.
The second assassin, standing about three people back in the crowds along the parade route, pulled out his revolver, aimed at the Duke, pulled the trigger. His gun jammed. And ahead of him was a casual clothed police man who proceeded to bring him down and bring him in for questioning.
The third assassin was a noob. Being his first assassination, he weapon of choice was a bomb. He lit the fuse, and threw it out the window. Over- excited, he over threw the car and landed it in the crowds ahead. The bomb exploded, killing a few civilians and the Arch Duke ran away in his car. With all of the commotion, there were rumors that the Arch Duke had been assassinated and lives had been lost.
Satisfied, the fourth assassin left his post feeling as though he had done a job well done.
The fifth assassin decided to celebrate and he headed down the bar to inebriate himself and sing Serbian national anthems all night.
The Third assassin, now obviously discovered from his bomb throw, proceeded to run towards the river in escape from the police. On his shirt was a button made of Cyanide which he proceeded to pop off and swallow. He then did a swan dive into the river. Little did he know that the season had been dry in Serbia that year and the river was only about four inches deep, and his cyanide button pill was far past the expiration date. When the police arrived, they arrested a man in four inches of water, on all fours, puking his guts out from the expired cyanide.
Several hours past and thinking they had avoided danger, The Arch Duke and his Wife Sophie continued on their parade route.
Still in the bar celebrating the death of Arch Duke Ferdinand, now extremely drunk, the fifth assassin stumbled out of the bar only to see a car driving by with the Arch Duke and Sophie. Astounded, he proceeded to pull outhis pistol and shoot them both in the head, killing them.
And that's how World War I really started. No joke.